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Today, trads, I will be telling you the secret to getting really great Christmas presents.

This is what you do. First you call David Wilder at J Press NYC and have him set aside some really great things. Then you call your mother and ask her to call David Wilder at J Press to buy you these things. Now, if your mother is like my mother, she will think this is great because she likes to talk on the phone and it's even easier than sending you a check.

I don't know exactly what it is that David Wilder at J Press says to mothers, but mothers think that David Wilder at J Press is a very nice man. He seems to know how to talk to mothers. David Wilder at J Press must have a very lucky mother.

And then after that, David Wilder at J Press will send your mother a very nice thank you note. Your mother has probably not gotten a thank you note from a clothing salesperson in a long time. If your mother is like my mother, she probably hasn't gotten a thank you note from you in a long time either. David Wilder at J Press will make your mother feel like a million bucks.

Now whenever it's almost Christmas or my birthday, my mother always says "longwing, is there anything you would like from that nice man, David Wilder at J Press?"

And I always say back "Oh, yeah, I'm sure I can think of something."